I mean, here is the thing: I was put in charge of that kitchen because Joan Rivers was doing the decorating of the truck (which, apparently, Melissa Rivers was kind of in charge of as it turns out).  As the person in charge, I made sure we got 1,000 cupcakes baked and iced, cupcakes that tasted delicious and won the taste test (despite Melissa not consulting the bakers about which cupcakes tasted the best before running off to Crumbs bakery).  I raised the most money of anyone on either team.  And, yes, Brande Roderick and I got in a tiff but she didn’t tell me how much she was selling the whole flat of cupcakes for!  I mean, from a poker player’s standpoint, I knew the people wouldn’t actually walk away if they didn’t get the whole flat.  They were donors and they would have taken just one cupcake and given her the check.  I knew we were running really low on cupcakes.  I mean once she told me it was $9K for the cupcakes I gave her the flat but we did run out of cupcakes before the end of the task!  Just like I said!

And just so you know, Brande and I made up right after that fight.  I was really stressed out and tired and right after the spat I told her that clearly the stress was showing in me and I was really sorry I snapped at her.  We made up right away and were actually watching the episode together at the Spanish Kitchen in LA with other cast members and all the crew members and producers and editors.  It was a really fun party and I was totally getting on Brande’s case for being so mean to me! lol!  Brande is awesome, by the way.  She came off totally amazing on the show, clearly working really hard and raising a ton of money on the cupcake task.  She deserved to be called the superstar of the task for sure!  Picking the location outside the Playboy building was genius and thank god for that or we would have ended up in the exact location they sold hotdogs at the previous season and got totally criticized for it.  Brande is a rock star.

Anyway, back to the show…I feel like I was efficient, I ran the kitchen like clockwork and I raised a bunch of money.  I rubbed people the wrong way for sure but, well, I knew that was going to happen.  I have that kind of strong and direct personality that takes a while for people to get.  The flip side is that I didn’t trash talk anyone (in fact I thought everyone worked really, really hard on the task and did an amazing job), I totally gave kudos to the chefs who were helping us (they were completely awesome!  And stopped us from panicking about the fallen chocolate cupcakes), and I worked my freaking ass off non-stop and raised a crap load for charity.  My checklist was accomplished since for sure Trump took notice of me which I needed since he had no idea who I was going into that show.  I always say that one of the most common things my friends say about me, and these are really my best friends who I would lay down in front of a bus for, is that when they first met me they thought I was a bitch.  It takes a while to get my personality I think and I am not one of those people that anyone is lukewarm on.  It is either completely love me or completely hate me.  I figure that just means that I actually have a personality lol.

As for the boys…Oh…My…..God!  How about that Andrew Dice Clay?  I mean if you are going to go on a show like the Celebrity Apprentice then you might want to think about doing some work.  My opinion is that he didn’t really want to be there in the first place so was probably pretty happy he got fired and could go back to his life.  I mean, I don’t think anyone really realizes how tough that show is.  You wake up at like 5 am and work till 11 pm then start all over again day after day after day.  I actually don’t blame anyone for burning out.  I am just suprised someone would want off that quickly.  But I think he got what he wanted so good for him.

And how much do you love Jesse James and Herschel Walker?  How awesome are they?  I think Jesse hilarious.  He seems so laid back but did you see that truck he created?  That was amazing and completely kickass.  It made the girls’ truck look like ass. Jesse seems laid back but that guy can produce some work.  And he is the most honest of anyone I think. When he was asked about the cupcakes he didn’t lie or tried to sugar coat anything (literally since the boys actually tried to sugar coat their cupcakes).  He just said they tasted like ass and you gotta love that guy for that!

I really felt for Herschel in that episode because I can’t imagine what it was like trying to manage Dennis Rodman and Andrew Dice Clay. Those guys just wanted to do what they wanted to do and I don’t think there was any telling them otherwise, no matter what.  Herschel is a really smart guy and runs a really successful business.  He did everything he could, I think, to get that team working together and he brought in the most money on his team.  But if Dennis won’t even come out of the truck onto the street I mean no one can force Dennis to come out to be visible.  Herschel’s hands were tied and I was really glad he didn’t get fired.  I don’t think he in any way deserved to be fired.

One last thing…how do you like the boys’ team name?  KOTU!  OMG!  I couldn’t believe that was their name!  I kept referring to them as team Kotex, which I think they can’t show on the actual show because it is a product name.  but that is what it sounded like to me.  Joe has already starting referring to them as team TOFU!  lol!

Before I sign off, I guess I need to address the Mussolini comment from Joan.  Now, first off let me say that calling me Mussolini is offensive to everyone who was affected by him.  We are talking about Celebrity Apprentice here, a relatively insignificant and innocuous blip in the history of this country.  To compare anything on Celebrity Apprentice to the atrocities of World War II…well I guess I just think that is over the top to say the least.  On a personal note, Joan put me in charge of the kitchen while she went off to do the truck decorating.  I made sure, with the incredible hard work of my teammates, especially Natalie Gulbis, that we got those cupcakes done and that they tasted good.  I also raised a ton of money, more than anyone else.  Between me and Brande we raised enough together to beat the boys’ team just by ourselves.  I know that I was barking out orders (although I always said please!).  But we had 6 hours to bake those cupcakes and, as far as I am concerned, Joan should have been happy about how that kitchen went.  She was project manager.  It was her ass on the line.  She put me in charge of the kitchen.  The kitchen ran like a top.  We won the taste test.  We raised the most money.  Our team won the challenge and she didn’t have to go into the boardroom. I guess in Joan’s eyes that is a bad thing and warrants being compared to one of the most atrocious dictators in recent history.  I my eyes that is extremely over the top.  But, hey, I guess for the rest of my life I can tell the story of how Joan Rivers compared me to Mussolini.  So there is always the bright side!

Well..tune into the show next week.  More fun and hilarity will ensue.  I am sure I will want to kill myself even more after watching next weeks show because I don’t think the snarky crap said behind Annie’s back is going to get any better in episdoe 2!  I am just taking a deep breath, trying to be thick skinned, and reminding myself that this was my game strategy going in and I knew the consequences of that and now I need to live with it!